The following was posted on the Blog, Choices. As a child of 11 growing up in a conservative, evangelical church, I was sexually abused by a church worker. My choice to this? Christians are morons and Christianity is for fools and old women. Then, from age 16 (when I left home in the early 60's), I made choices that evolved around alcohol (and various non-prescription drugs) women, and song. The latter, of the acid rock variety. Until the age of 30, I wasn't even aware that the choices I was making were in response, in large measure, to the choice someone else made to sexually abuse me. My choices were not made in reference to whether they would adversely affect others close to me. Quite frankly, I didn't give a damn. What made me feel good; "if it feels good baby do it," was my mantra. Selfish. Damn right. Did I care? Only when my wife caught me screwing around or I got busted for a drug violation. Did this mean I started making choices that wouldn't adversely affect those around me? No. But I did become a lot more careful that my choices were not so transparent to the police. And my wife. Happy. No. I was miserable with the choices I was making but to make me feel happier, I decided to screw around more and do more drugs, until, at age 30 something happened to the way I made choices. Thanks in part to NA and AA, I found that I couldn't change on my own but, with the help of God, I could. God has enabled me to soften the pain that drugs and alcohol only made worse.